Thursday, May 8, 2008

Top Ten Chicago Mugshots

Ah, the mugshot. Perhaps nothing gives you a better insight into the minds of those who have crossed paths with the law at one point or another. Over the years, Chicago has witnessed quite a few of its local athletes engaging in acts that have earned them a night or two in the local slammer. So when Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson's booking photo was splashed all over the city, the boys at TTCS thought it perfect timing for our Top Ten Chicago Mugshots list to debut.


10. Charles Oakley - Chicago Bulls

Despite a glaring resemblance to Baltimore Ravens tackle Jonathan Ogden, Big Oak looks like he has something up his sleeve here. Maybe it's because he knows Michael Jordan is on his way with a limo full of women to bail him out and head for Atlantic City.

9. Jim McMahon - Chicago Bears

The Punky QB looks a little like he's enjoying life a little too much since his playing days ended. While he may have led the Bears to a Super Bowl, he still played for the Packers, leaving him somewhere between ESPN's Rachel Nichols and Skip Bayless in my book of people I detest.

8. Albert Belle - Chicago White Sox

He deserved to be arrested after stealing all that money the Sox paid during his stay with the South Siders.

7. Tony LaRussa - White Sox Manager

Pssst....Hey Tony.
Opening your eyes as wide as humanly possible doesn't make you look any more sober. In fact, they probably thought you were on crack.

6. Dennis Rodman - Chicago Bulls

Rodman may be the only man on this planet who could possibly look normal in a mugshot.

5. Kendra Davis - Wife of Chicago Bulls former player Antonio Davis

Miss Naomi Campbell-lite here and Allen Iverson's mom probably are at the peak of female insanity. Put the two of them together and you have more spare parts upstairs than an erector set.

4. Ron Artest - Chicago Bulls

Any day now I see this guy walking onto a court with 'Redrum' shaved into the back of his head.

3. Tank Johnson - Chicago Bears

"Officer, I swear on everything there's no weed in this house. Do I look like someone that gets high?"

2. Alonzo Spellman - Chicago Bears

I've never seen someone so excited to go to jail. But don't let his charming good looks fool you. Big Zo and his multiple personalities could wipe the floor with your squad in a pickup basketball game.

1. Cedric Benson - Chicago Bears

Yup, I think that's exactly how I would look after boozing on a boat, being pepper sprayed, dragged to the ground and wrestled into the back of a squad car.

This man needs to be added to our list of guys we want to party with.

2 comments:

Superfudge said...

The benson photo is sweet

I will say, that at least when McMahon went to the white house with the pack, he wore a bears uniform.

Tone said...

Brutal pic of Ced B, what a schmuck, even though it seems he was treated like shit by a bunch of racist pigs. And you're right, some of these fools do look happy. Morons!