Sadly, he never became a fireman because he tired quickly of extinguishing brush fires in the hills of Boo-Foo Nowhere. And he never made it as a cowboy because he couldn't stay on the Bronc when it bucked. He lost his stomach the first time he ever hit turbulence in the skies, crashed the electric train in his Uncle's basement into the collection of antique beer steins and gave up on the sport of his choice after losing his only match of the year for the state wrestling championship.
But this little boy wasn't Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris never quit anything. Maybe that's why he is the bad ass every guy wants to be when they realize that the dreams they held as children were exactly that, childish dreams.
10. Chuck Norris
It's said that a single tear from Chuck Norris can cure cancer. It’s just too damn bad the man has never cried.
When we were children, before our mama's kissed us goodnight, we looked under the bed to see if the Boogey Man was waiting for us. When the Boogey Man goes to bed at night after he's scared the shit out of children around the globe, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.8. Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the reason nobody can find Waldo.
7. Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not use the fluffy, multi-ply toilet paper found in most bathrooms. Chuck Norris uses toilet paper made of steel.
6. Chuck Norris
We should immediately toss the theory of evolution out the window and just except that there is an extensive list of animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
5. Chuck Norris
Some kids piss their name in the snow to show off to their buddies and/or mark their territory. Chuck Norris pisses his name into concrete 'cause he can.
4. Chuck Norris
The some-bitch can speak braille. 'Nuff said.
3. Chuck Norris
After trting to sell him a condo in the area of Chicago where the White Sox call home, Chuck Norris said he was a die hard Cubs fan and roundhouse kicked the salesman over the phone.
2. Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the Yoda of all reality ass whoopin'.
1. Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is an inventor. He invented the spoon. Because killing with a knife was too easy.
4 comments:
Chuck Norris jokes?
Really?
You were so stumped at coming up with anything original you had to resort to a Chuck Norris list?
No Top 10 Chicago Athletes who Kicked Ass After They Left Chicago? (Maddux, etc)
No Top 10 Ex Chicago Athletes We Still Love? (Maddux again, etc)
Instead we get a re-hashed Chuck Norris list?
That's so 2004.
sheesh.
Oh well, deal with it.
I feel like this should be followed up by a "Top 10 Reasons Why Samuel L. Jackson Is The Man."
this is an embarassment.
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