9. Gale ‘the Kansas Comet’ Sayers

Coming to the Bears from Kansas University in the same draft as Dick Butkus, Sayers was the most exciting in the proud tradition of Bears running backs. Injuries cut short his remarkable career too soon, but Sayers was honored as the youngest person ever inducted into the Hall of Fame.

8. Jim ‘the Punky QB’ McMahon

On an 85’ Bears team filled with nicknames, perhaps none was as accurate as McMahon’s. From writing Rozelle on his headband to mooning a helicopter at the Super Bowl, McMahon may have been the baddest of the Monsters of the Midway.

7. Charles ‘Peanut’ Tillman

Tillman claims the nickname was given to him in elementary school because of his oblong shaped skull. Those who ever doubt Tillman certainly don’t any more after the Bears top cornerback shaved his trademark dreadlocks near the end of the '07 season.

5. ‘Iron’ Mike Ditka

4. George ‘Papa Bear’ Halas

This nickname almost seems to do Halas no justice because without him, not only would the Bears not exist but possibly the entire NFL.

3. Walter ‘Sweetness’ Payton

Few nicknames truly capture a player and a person like Sweetness did for Payton. He may have never scored a Super Bowl touchdown, but Payton gave Chicago fans almost everything else during his 13-year career. While Dick Butkus (not featured on this list because when your name is ‘Dick Butkus’, who really needs a nickname) may be many Chicagoans favorite Bear, it is Payton that is the most revered. That won’t change anytime soon.

2. Rex ‘the Sex Cannon’ Grossman

When not zipping out frozen throw-gasms for interceptions, our heroic quarterback can be found partaking in some “elbow-deep-in-your-butt gangbanging”. What this all means, I'm not very sure. But Kissing Suzy Kolber’s nickname (image also via KSK) for the embattled Bears QB made him that much more fun to root for. Every time he gets set to unload a patented deep ball (off his back foot, naturally), you know that he's saying ‘Fuck it, I’m going downfield’ to himself.

1. William ‘the Refrigerator’ Perry

‘They call me The Fridge, and I’m the rookie. I may be large, but I’m no dumb cookie.’ Do I even need to add anything else? Didn’t think so.

Honorable mention: 'Iron Head' Craig Heyward, 'Galloping Ghost' Red Grange, ‘Samurai’ Mike Singletary, Steve ‘Mongo’ McMichael, Nathan ‘the Interceptor’ Vasher, Devin ‘Anytime’ Hester, Kevin ‘Butthead’ Butler, Raymont ‘the Ultraback’ Harris

Ok, so the list kind of starts after Craig. However, he and Larry Bird are the only two NBA-ers to win 3-point contests at the All-Star break three different times.(1990-1992)


9. Lee Smith- Cubs (1980-1987)

A closer who didn't truly hit his stride 'til he left the Windy City, Smith is still worthy of a spot. The game's second-most all-time saves leader racked up multiple 30-save seasons, keeping the Cubs "on lock" throughout the 80's.


8. Glen Milbryn- Bears (1998-2000)

Arguably the Bears second greatest return man. He once returned three kicks for touchdowns in one season. (Remember when that was a stellar year? That's like all in a day's work for Devin.)


7. Bobby Jenks- White Sox (2005-Current)

Nothing gave me more of a thrill than watching Ozzie make the hand gestures to the bullpen that he wanted the big fat rookie to come out and seal a 2005 playoff birth in Detroit. It was also he who closed out that World Series, earning two saves in the four games. This Sox closer tied the all-time mark for most consecutive outs last season. He was also shooting for the record of most times getting caught bringing beer on the team bus. That number currently sits at two.

6. Brandon Ayanbadejo- Bears (2005-Current)

When you think special teams you wouldn't normally think of a guy on a coverage team, but if you watch the Bears week in and week out, one can't help but notice big ole' #94 hammering people on just about, literally, EVERY return. I was disappointed to see that neither NFL.com or football-reference.com had stats on him for his special teams abilities, because I'm almost positive he had more tackles on kick and punt returns than Archuleta and Danielle did combined in their starting roles this season.

5. Bobby Thigpen- White Sox (1986-1993)

Ok, I'm sorry fans, but I don't know a whole lot about this guy. In 1990 he set the MLB record for most saves in a season (57) that even 2003 Cy Young winner Eric Gagne did not touch. All I know is that if Gagne only saved 55 games that year, in what I would say was the greatest season I have ever seen out of a reliever (I realize my credibility with closers is ruined since I don't know a thing about Thigpen), and Bobby still had more, that must have been one hell of a season.

4. Patrick Manelly- Bears (1998-Current)

When describing this long snapper, the only thing that comes to mind is "Simply the BEST, Better than all the rest!" No but seriously, I did some research, and this guy has let three punts get blocked in his 10-year tenure in Chicago. THREE!! He owns the record for most consecutive games without a block. The guy is damn near perfect, every time, and makes Brad Maynard look like a better punter than he actually is. I could make an argument for this guy to be a Hall-of-Famer. So Pat, if your reading, shoot us an email.

3. Dennis Rodman- Bulls (1995-1998)

This was initially a questionable person to put on a list, until we researched some numbers and found ourselves in sheer awe. This was a guy who was on the down slope of his career when he arrived in the Second City, but his rebound count was insane. Twice in his three years he averaged 15 rebounds a night, and in 1996-97 he averaged 16. Dennis also brought that intimidation factor every time somebody stepped into the paint, something unmatched by anybody in the League, maybe of all-time. In the 1995-96 season, he even got some MVP votes.

2. Steve Kerr- Bulls (1993-1998)

Steve Kerr just didn't miss. He is a career 45% three-point shooter, 2nd All-time behind Jason Kapono, who will probably fade as he ages. He was the 1996 3-Point competition winner, and the inspiration for kids like me to throw away my jump shot mechanics in order to see who could hit the deepest trey. During the 1996-98 seasons, he was good for about 8 points and 1.5 threes a night, and hair I would have died for. (Insert Barnes joke here.)

1. Devin Hester- Bears (2006-Current)

Was there any doubt Mr. Soulja Boy himself wasn't going to be #1. This list was made FOR him. He's a punt/kick return god and a first-ballot Hall of Famer, as it currently stands today. Maybe no player, definitely no special teamster, is more scouted and analyzed than Devin. No matter who you are a fan of, hearing the phrase "...kicking to the Bears," you know people are tuning in, waiting to see the man with more electricity running through him than anybody on the planet, do what he does best. Now if only he could figure out how to run a fly pattern properly.

I know what you’re thinking: Thomas Ian Nicholas was so much better in ‘A Kid in King Arthur’s Court.’ Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait until next week to see our top ten list of little leaguers who went on to become medieval heroes. Still, Rowengartner sneaks on to this list on the shear merits of making a doctor say “funky butt-loving…”. That was golden.

9. Tim Hardaway
Hardaway's insensitive remarks about homosexuals nearly go him booted off this list before I remembered he was on the cover of NBA Live 98', a totally sweet v-game if there ever was one. Anyways, bigot, schmigot: that killer crossover was tight, yo!

8. Simeon Rice
Our first of three Mount Carmel High grads, Rice starred in the area as both a prep and a collegian. His 16-sack junior season is perhaps the most prolific year ever had by a University of Illinois defender.

7. Coach K

The architect of the least likable college program the world has ever seen, Coach K made his mark in Chicago long before ever receiving his first American Express card. Along the way, he's snatched up some of his hometown's top prep ballers, everyone from Corey Maggette to Jon Scheyer. This season, Krzyzweski once again has Duke near the top of the polls with a 15-1 record. If his team can stay healthy- and it will be difficult with Greg Paulus mysteriously crashing to the floor without contact so often- Coach K may have a shot at his fourth national title.

6. Dwyane Wade
Despite constantly pleading with Charles Barkley to be in his '5'- honestly, who wants Chaz Barkley calling them all the time?- Wade makes the list on the merits of beings one the NBA's best ballers and seemingly being all-around swell dude. Though we do worry for him- as he starts to get older it will be harder to live by his motto of "fall down seven, stand up eight". Just looking out for ya, bro.

5. Quentin Richardson

Before claiming his throne as the NBA's least efficient starter, Richardson was a hometown icon. He led what some believe to be the greatest high school squad in Chicago history-1998 Whitney Young- to a state title and then made his mark at DePaul. After two seasons with the Blue Demons, grabbing more rebounds then anyone thought possible for a 6'4 power forward, Q-Rich departed for the NBA where he was a first round draft pick. Richardson loses points on this list for marrying Brandy but gains points for appearing in Van Wilder and doing that cool fist-head double tap thing with Darius Miles.

4. Isiah Thomas
True Chicagoans continue to give back to their community and Thomas did just that when he forked over two first round draft picks for Eddy Curry's enlarged gut and deteriorating heart. Before reaching his current status as a national punchline, Thomas starred at St. Joseph High and went on to become of the Big Ten's all-time greats at Indiana. Thomas has found himself in all kinds of trouble since- from freezing out MJ to racially insulting Larry Bird to sexually harassing interns- but he'll always be our favorite Bad Boy.

3. Donovon McNabb
In the age of 'roided up athletes, we all know the only performance-enhancer McNabb is on is Chunky Soup. McNabb is the second least intercepted quarterback of all-time, just behind my main man Neil O'Donnell, something that surely makes him appeal to possible trade suitors, like, you know, the Chicago Bears.

2. Chris Chelios
Chelios was the definition of a professional as a member of the Blackhawks, leading them to the Stanley Cup finals and winning the Norris trophy twice. If he ever retires- something we find highly unlikely- don't worry, Chelios will still be in your life. His Cheli's Chili restaurants are like a real life Stan Mikita's Donuts.

1. Dick Butkus
We usually only put players from the last 25-years on these lists, but we had to include Butkus in fear that we would kick all five of our asses simultaneously, or, ever worse, make us watch reruns of 'Hang Time'.

Honorable mention: Red Grange, Derrick Rose, George Mikan, Rodney Harrison, Corey Maggette, Sterling Sharpe, Antoine Walker, Antwaan Randle-El and Curtis Granderson

We have compiled a list of the top 10 draft busts in Chicago history of the last 20 years. Enjoy!

10. Mikhail Yakubov/ Pavel Vorobiev

We filled our hockey quota with this dynamic Russian duo. Picked 10th and 11th in the 2000 draft, these "studs" played a combine four seasons, and also combined for a whooping 12 goals during their "lengthy" stay in Hawk's uniforms.

9. Cubs 2002 1st Round Picks

Jim Hendry, deciding he had an unfair advantage with four first-rounders, decided to level the playing field by selecting four pitchers I don't think he had even heard of.

8. Rashaan Salaam

Salaam's best season was his rookie year when he rushed for a respectable 10 touchdowns and 1074 yards. But even then he fumbled 10 times, and it was downhill from there.

7. Mark Prior

The man worth the most discussion on this list, Prior had more hype than ANY draftee on our ranking. This injury plagued phenom won more than 12 games only once in Cubbie blue. Nobody fell further from his post than #22.

6. David Terrell

This Terrell reminds us a lot of another Terrell we know. Well except that the other one is a better smack-talker AND could actually play football. This former Wolverine great did a whole lot of nothing despite supposedly being a big-time draft pick. In reality however, this guy just had a big-time ego.

5. Marcus Fizer

The 4th overall pick of the 2000 draft epitomized the lowest of lows of the Bulls dark ages. Fizer, who spent four miserable seasons in Chicago, before bouncing between the D-League and the Hornets, is now playing ball in Europe. This dudes best chance at getting noticed again is by slightly modifying the spelling of his name and starting to advertise on male enhancement commercials.

4. Joe Borchard

How many years did South-Side Nation hear that this was Joe’s year? The guy received what was at the time, the largest rookie signing bonus of all time. Which would have been worth it, had the Sox paid him per foot of that one tape-measure home run that has yet to land. Unfortunately, even that home run was probably in a losing effort, as was Borchard’s career.

3. Curtis Enis

Drafted despite the signing of tailback Edgar Bennett, (a childhood favorite) this was doomed from the start. In a coin-flip decision, it looks like not signing Randy Moss was the best move though, because he missed breakfast during a Chicago visit weeks before the draft.

2. Jay Williams

I think everyone thought Jay Williams was smarter than that. The highly touted Duke grad decides to be a bad-ass, buy a motorcycle he can’t control, and permanently Kellen Winslow-ed his way out of basketball. In Jay’s defense, it was one sick bike.

1. Cade McNown

I will never forget listening to the radio, hearing how ecstatic a Bear’s fan was after watching then-rookie Cade throw for 300 yards and four touchdowns by explaining him as “The savior sent from God.” This genius probably should have waited a year to make that statement, because that’s how much longer he would be a Bear.

Here are a few guys who just missed our cut:

Michael Haynes

Corey Patterson

Brian Anderson

Kerry Wood

Luis Montanez