Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Top Ten best Bears nicknames

10. Anthony ‘the A-Train’ Thomas

While Thomas earned this nickname at Michigan long before he reached Chicago as a second round draft pick, he fulfilled it admirably early in his career by winning Rookie of the Year in 2001. I feel as if a nickname as great as ‘the A-Train’ cannot stop with just one man and should be passed down from generation to generation. Current Chicago athlete most deserving of ‘the A-Train’ moniker: Aramis Ramirez.

9. Gale ‘the Kansas Comet’ Sayers

Coming to the Bears from Kansas University in the same draft as Dick Butkus, Sayers was the most exciting in the proud tradition of Bears running backs. Injuries cut short his remarkable career too soon, but Sayers was honored as the youngest person ever inducted into the Hall of Fame.

8. Jim ‘the Punky QB’ McMahon

On an 85’ Bears team filled with nicknames, perhaps none was as accurate as McMahon’s. From writing Rozelle on his headband to mooning a helicopter at the Super Bowl, McMahon may have been the baddest of the Monsters of the Midway.

7. Charles ‘Peanut’ Tillman

Tillman claims the nickname was given to him in elementary school because of his oblong shaped skull. Those who ever doubt Tillman certainly don’t any more after the Bears top cornerback shaved his trademark dreadlocks near the end of the '07 season.

6. James ‘Big Cat’ Williams

Turnstile right tackle, field goal blocking extrordinaire and all-around large dude, few nicknames fit a person as well as Big Cat fits James Williams. Simply put, James Williams is, indeed, a big cat.

5. ‘Iron’ Mike Ditka


Forged on the grassy fields of his native Pennsylvania, Ditka has embraced the ‘Iron Mike’ moniker and turned it into something of a brand. Sadly, now when I think of ‘Iron Mike’, I only imagine Ditka under the influence of Cialis, something that could jar any little Grabowski.

4. George ‘Papa Bear’ Halas

This nickname almost seems to do Halas no justice because without him, not only would the Bears not exist but possibly the entire NFL.

3. Walter ‘Sweetness’ Payton

Few nicknames truly capture a player and a person like Sweetness did for Payton. He may have never scored a Super Bowl touchdown, but Payton gave Chicago fans almost everything else during his 13-year career. While Dick Butkus (not featured on this list because when your name is ‘Dick Butkus’, who really needs a nickname) may be many Chicagoans favorite Bear, it is Payton that is the most revered. That won’t change anytime soon.

2. Rex ‘the Sex Cannon’ Grossman

When not zipping out frozen throw-gasms for interceptions, our heroic quarterback can be found partaking in some “elbow-deep-in-your-butt gangbanging”. What this all means, I'm not very sure. But Kissing Suzy Kolber’s nickname (image also via KSK) for the embattled Bears QB made him that much more fun to root for. Every time he gets set to unload a patented deep ball (off his back foot, naturally), you know that he's saying ‘Fuck it, I’m going downfield’ to himself.

1. William ‘the Refrigerator’ Perry

‘They call me The Fridge, and I’m the rookie. I may be large, but I’m no dumb cookie.’ Do I even need to add anything else? Didn’t think so.


Honorable mention: 'Iron Head' Craig Heyward, 'Galloping Ghost' Red Grange, ‘Samurai’ Mike Singletary, Steve ‘Mongo’ McMichael, Nathan ‘the Interceptor’ Vasher, Devin ‘Anytime’ Hester, Kevin ‘Butthead’ Butler, Raymont ‘the Ultraback’ Harris

2 comments:

Phil Barnes said...

Haha... quality job, my only complaint is that peanut is not a cool nickname at all, and rather, really stupid.

Phil Barnes said...

Oh by the way, one you put on honorable mention that I absolutely love is "anytime" Hester, but only because of the story behind that