Monday, February 25, 2008

Top Ten Chicago athletes who should have been soccer players

I know a lot of our viewers are not soccer fans, nor our many of our writers, but the partial reasoning behind all this is because we have so many sports to watch in America, that all the top athleticism is divided into 4-6 main sports. That's completely different overseas, where Football (over there) is the only real game. And while the UEFA Cup goes on I got to thinking who would be good at the "beautiful game." Below is a list of 11 Chicago guys who should at least contemplate swimming the Atlantic and giving it a whirl. (There are 11 because there are 11 players on the field, I am not trying to rip you guys off.)

11. Dustin Byfuglien



Desired Position- Outside Defender
Player Comparison: Rafael Marquez- Barcelona/ Mexico

I would take this guy because of his ability to score from the defensive position. Its always important to have at least one defender with the ability to occasionally drift forward and pound one into the goal. Dustin’s 12 tallies are currently tied for fourth amongst all NHL defensemen, and would be a huge help to any soccer team.

10. Shani Davis



Desired Position- Outside Midfielder
Player Comparison: Kaka- AC Milan/ Brazil

Alright, I realize this guy doesn’t play on a Chicago team, he is from Chicago and this gold medalist speed skater would fly past people like they were on ice. (No pun intended.) Plus since he has been skating for so long you know he is not going to wear out, something that is vital for those outside guys.


9. Ben Gordon



Desired Position- Forward
Player Comparison: Dieter Drogba- Chelsea/ Ivory Coast

We think of Ben Gordon typically as undersized and a guy who likes to shoot. Well 6’3” soccer player is a pretty big dude and a forward’s main job is to shoot, so it almost fits perfectly. Since he is pretty jacked also, it won’t be hard to body guys up and push past them with ease en-route to a goal.


8. Lance Briggs



Desired Position- Defender
Player Comparison: Rio Ferdinand- Manchester United/ England

This guy will simply knock you off your block. We see him do a great job covering tight ends on Sundays, so what would be the difference between that and a streaking forward coming into his area? I wouldn’t want to be that striker.

7. Tyrus Thomas



Desired Position- Goalkeeper
Player Comparison: Gianluigi Buffon- Juventus/ Italy

Tyrus would be a maniac, plain and simple. He could get to any ball that was kicked, and the ability to jump over people does not hurt. Good luck finding goalie gloves that will fit his hands.

6. Kirk Hinrich



Desired Position- Midfielder
Player Comparison: Riquelme- Boca Juniors/ Argentina

Every team needs a field general, and Captain Kirk would be just that. It would be up to him to slow the pace down or speed it up. While he may need to score once in a while, his main role is to distribute. Earlier this year we were wondering if Hinrich should honestly think about a profession change.

5. Jonathan Toews



Desired Position- Forward
Player Comparison: Francisco Torres- Liverpool/ Spain

Managers around the world love to see a guy gain possession, turn and just floor it to the goal, moving around defenders like his feet are magnets to the goal while eluding defenders and leaving them in his wake. Toews does exactly that in hockey, and it would be an instant success overseas.

4. Devin Hester



Desired Position- Wing Midfielder
Player Comparison: Christiano Ronaldo- Manchester United/ Portugal

As it has become evident now, we really like Devin Hester, but being on this list honestly works. He has bursts of speed that are comparable to no one. An outside mid’s job is to run up and down the entire field, which is something that “The Windy City Flyer” has proven he can do on a continuous basis. Also, we have also noticed that Devin’s favorite route is the fly pattern, or a straight line. This is also a requirement that would fit his new soccer position to a tee.

3. Derrek Lee



Desired Position- Forward
Player Comparison: Emmanuel Adebayor- Arsenal/ Togo

When I thought that I needed a forward, Derrek Lee is the first guy that I thought of. He is athletic, (Dean Smith offered him basketball scholarship to UNC) quick, (15-20 stolen bases four times in his career) the ideal corner kick target with his 6’6” frame ready to head in anything, and the body to run through any smaller defender. He would also fit the stereotype that soccer players don't know how to throw a punch.

2. Patrick Kane



Desired Position- Inside Midfielder
Player Comparison: Ronaldinho- Barcelona/ Brazil

While hockey strongly resembles the game of soccer, Pat would make it in the other sport. Hockey analysts say the game slows down for this young gun, and in soccer that could improve him to the next level also.

1. Brian Urlacher



Desired Position- Sweeper/ Center Back
Player Comparison: Fabio Cannavaro- Real Madrid/ Italy

Playing middle linebacker and sweeper in soccer have very similar roles. Once a man beats his defender it is the sweeper who is the last line of defense, and Brian has the ability to smother out an attack better than anybody. Being chased into a corner would be a forwards worst nightmare, and who on Earth would go up for a 50/50 header with a 270-pound bulldog.

By: Phil Barnes

2 comments:

Bleacher said...

Should have been soccer players? Are you suggesting that these guys don't play their respective sports good enough and should have went out for the soccer team at their high school or something? Like the beautiful game doesn't measure up to American sport standards? B.S.

Matt O. said...

Ummmm....I think you need to relax a little bit there Bleacher and think before you speak.

The guy who wrote the list - Barnes - is obviously a soccer fan so why would he try to insult the beautiful game and those who play it?

And do you think a site dedicated to all things Chicago would suggest BRIAN URLACHER isn't good at football?

Next time I suggest you understand the meaning behind something before you bash it.