Our list of the worst sports broadcasters in sports. These are the ass-clowns who try to give us insight into the world of sports.

*Have covered at least one Chicago sports game

10. Bob Uecker

I know he’s in the Hall of Fame and I know he was amazing in the Major League movies, BUT, if you actually listen to his commentary during a Brewers game, he is beyond boring. His quick wit takes a backseat to mundane and monotone characterizations of Brewers baseball (granted he didn’t have much to get excited about until last year). I think the fact that I expected a funny, exciting Uecker and instead got Ben Stein from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, made him a synch for this top ten.

9. Stacey King

His vernacular is more suited for slinging rock than broadcasting Bulls games.

8. Dick Vitale

“It's awesome, baby!” I feel that I don’t even have to write this one. Vitale is the reason MUTE was invented. Every time he broadcasts a game I have the uncontrollable feeling to drive a screwdriver through my ears. I’m glad we have had a break from his eccentric rants even if it is because he is sick.

7. Ed Farmer

Tell me one thing that Farmer brings to a broadcast and I will take him off this list.

6. Ron Santo

Personally, this is hard for me as a Cubs fan, but lets be honest, Santo sucks balls. Besides the fact that I can’t understand what Santo is saying half the time, his idea of adding a first-rate point includes “Come on, that’s terrible.” Simply put, he makes me dumber.

5. Bryant Gumbel

This season the stupid NFL Network covered the Beard vs. Redskins game and I was forced to listen to Gumbel attempt to give play by play. The mix of his irritating voice and the fact that he didn’t realize he wasn’t on his show, gave him the idea that anyone cared what he had to say. Play by play guys, who A, never played a snap in their lives and B, try to give advise to the highly paid and skilled coaches just pisses me off and the tormenting Gumbel takes the cake.

4. Johnny “Red” Kerr A poor attempt at a replacement for a Harey Carey-like broadcaster in Chicago. Sure, Kerr is old and dilapidated, just like Carey was. But, unlike Carey, who’s drunken demeanor made his outlandish remarks lovable, Kerr is just suffering from early stages of dementia. Kerr’s inelegant, dimwitted and sad commentary makes me want to take a tack hammer to his geriatric skull. It’s over, sir. Either retire or die.

3. Chip Carey

A disgrace to his surname and grandfather… enough said.

2. Joe Morgan

Besides being the biggest bigot on ESPN (I have never heard him say one positive thing about a white player or Latin player for that matter). Furthermore, Morgan also refused to attend Ryan Sandburg’s Hall of Fame ceremony because many consider Sandburg, not Morgan, the greatest second baseman of all-time. He is classless and contains absolutely no talent. It amazes me how clueless former Major Leaguer’s and Hall of Famer’s are about the strategy and tactics used during games. Continually, he misses the basics from defining a “backdoor slider” wrong to consistently miscalling pitch locations. I hate you Joe Morgan.

1. John Madden

The champion of all terrible broadcasters, Madden dominates television sets throughout all fifty states with outlandish and uninformative tirades every football Sunday. The sad thing about Madden is that there is actual football knowledge in the man’s worn-out brain, but in the process between when his brain thinks of a thought and when it reaches his mouth something horrible happens. Madden’s thoughts turn into verbal mush. Continually, it doesn’t help Madden that he also sounds like an actual short bus retard. All in all, Madden is the King of all that is unholy about sports broadcasting.