With the Mitchell Report and all the controversy around Roger Clemens, I felt this was a necessary post. These are the guys who have or should come out of the steroid closet.

10. Jose Canseco
“The King of Steroids”
Canseco is one of the principle reasons for steroids becoming part of the baseball culture throughout the late 1980s and the 1990s. Playing on eight different teams in his Major League career, Canseco systematically spread steroids wherever he went. Canseco had your typical steroid induced career- lots of home runs, money and injuries. Continually, Canseco had his share of off the field incidences including domestic violence and aggravated battery. 'Roid rage? I think so. Canseco’s tell-all book, Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big, outed many big league stars including #9 on this list. Oh by the way, Canseco played on the White Sox in 2001.

9. Rafael Palmeiro
“I have never used steroids, period. I don't know how to say it anymore clearly than that. Never.”
In 1988, the Cubs traded Palmeiro (and Jamie Moyer – nice one Cubs) to the Rangers because it was believed that Grace, not Palmeiro, had more power potential. At the time, it was not that crazy of a hypothesis. The most home runs Palmeiro hit, prior to Canseco joining the Rangers, was 26. Ironically, the year after Canseco joined the Rangers, Palmeiro’s home run total jumped to 37 (interesting). Palmeiro continually denied steroid use after being outed by Canseco, but tested positive for stanozolol in 2005. Oh by the way, he was the spokesman for Viagra (steroids cause impudence).

8. Magglio Ordonez
ESPN reported a rumor indicating that Canseco told Ordonez that if he helped fund a film project that Canseco would keep him out of his upcoming book Vindicated, which would implicate Ordonez and steroid use. Both deny the rumor, but it seems that anyone associated with Canseco is guilty of some kind of performance enhancing drug. Oh by the way, the year after Canseco joined the White Sox, Ordonez had most home runs in his career.

7. Louis Gonzalez
As a Cub “Gonzo” hit 22 home runs in one in a half seasons. In 2001, Gonzalez hit 51 home runs. His second largest single season home run total was 31 (the year before). Do you think maybe a needle appeared around 2000? Or did the skinniest player ever just figure out how to hit the long ball and then forget the next year (only totaling 28 long balls in 2002). Oh by the way, “Gonzo” and Scott Servais were traded to the Cubs for, my favorite Cub catcher, Rick Wilkins. PPS Now he’s a Marlin… weird.

6. Kyle Farnsworth
If the body slam of Reds pitcher Paul Wilson isn’t proof enough that Farnsworth uses steroids, than I don’t know what will. He literally picked up Wilson, who is listed as 6’5’’ 235, and threw him down like he was Ron Santo. Oh by the way, he played six seasons with #1 on the list.

5. Juan Uribe
I have been a batting coach for a couple years now and I will just say that Uribe might have the ugliest swing that I have ever seen. The only way a player can be successful with a swing like that is by doing something illegal. Honestly, I am basing this entirely on the way he looks… oh and by the fact that he ‘roid raged in the Dominican Republic and was accused of shoot two guys for getting too close to his jeep adds some fuel to the steroid fire. Uribe even said that Dominican players were under pressure to use steroids in an espndeportes.com interview last year. Oh by the way, Dominican players make up 37% of all players who have tested positive for steroid use. PPS Uribe looks like a chipmunk (a side effect of steroids is head enlargement).

4. Glenallen Hill


I think that video says enough… Oh by the way, Hill actually came out last week and apologized for using steroids.

3. Alonzo Spellman
Well, he is just fucking crazy. There is no way this nut bag didn’t use steroids. I know he says he is “bipolar” but this blogger feels it’s a cover for his extreme ‘roid rage. Plus, Spellman has been involved in a few police incidents. His first was in 1998, when he was involved in a standoff with police when he barricaded himself in his publicist’s house. Moreover, he was sentenced to 18-months in jail for screwing with a Delta Airlines flight in 2003. Oh by the way, Spellman was arrested again this year after a 20-minute car chase with police. He only came out of his car after police pepper sprayed his automobile. INSANE!

2. Albert Belle
Even though Canseco cleared Belle of any steroid use, I can’t with good conscience believe that. He was too big, too dominating and too injury prone to have not used steroids during his career. His ‘roid rage was well documented throughout his career. Belle actually hit a vandal with his car, attacked a fan while at LSU and actually threw a ball at a fan while with the Indians. Oh by the way, the fact he basically took off Fernando Vina’s head while running around the base should say something.

1. Sammy Sosa
The former Chicago legend and current disgrace is the last and most deserving athlete to be suspected of steroid use. It might be the fact that Sosa’s most home run total in a year was 15 before it double, twice, or the fact that he literally looked like a stick figure when he came up from the minors, but what it comes down to is that we know, as sports fans, in our hearts of hearts that there is no way Sosa accomplished what he did without any illegal help. However, what it really comes down too is the fact that we hate Sosa with a passion. His injuries and rapid improvement in numbers are consistent with steroid use. Sosa is the unfortunate face of Chicago baseball and it makes us all look like uninformed and gullible fans. Oh by the way, Sosa was traded to the Cubs for George Bell.

Honorable Mentions
Bears Defense, Rondell White, Henry Rodriguez and Scott Schoeneweis.