Monday, December 15, 2008

Top Ten gifts the city owes its fans

Winter is here and the holidays are coming. With the holidays come gifts. And lets face it Chicago sports fans; we are owed a few things. Below are ten gifts the city owe us fans.

10. Someone who can play in the Bears secondary

While they didn't look too bad, only allowing two Drew Brees touchdowns on Thursday, overall the secondary has been terrible. Mike Brown is horrid and only excels on others mistakes, Nate Vasher can't stay healthy and when he has, has not been worth his fat paycheck. The best guy this season is Kevin Payne, who is good against the run but has D. Manning syndrome (I stole that from Eli who said that earlier this week,) and still looks lost on passing plays.

9. A Cubs lefty hitter
Going into the off season this was supposedly the only hole that the Cubs needed to fill. Nothing has been done and Ibanez, one of their higher targets, has just been signed to a three-year deal.

8. Ced-Ben behind bars

Not everybody might be asking for this but Benson's comments last week regarding Forte's success really got to me. "He is having a great year, but when I see the highlights, I see holes. I see them using him in the slot, something they didn't do with me. If I was there right now with the holes I see, I'd probably have 1,800 yards right now. I definitely would have 1,500 by now. I congratulate him on all of his success. He is taking advantage."
Not only does the "I'd have at least 1,500 yards" frustrate me, but then he has the fortitude to congratulate him on the success "he is taking advantage" of. Really now? Cedric, shut up. Go party with your Mom some more. I'm glad he got maced. If he ever were to go to prison they should stick him in the same cell as Blago and do a reality TV show on it.

7. A Sox leadoff hitter
While I have all the trust in the world in Kenny Williams, Getz as the opening day leadoff man is not cutting it at the moment. All this speculation is driving me nuts. I need some action. Kenny, make something cool happen.

6. A TTCS-hosted Party

Yes, that is right, we owe you readers a party. It would all be planned out. Freddy would bounce. Scott and Zach would be on the entertainment committee; Scott with his standup and Zach with his socializing abilities. Danny would act as the designated driver, willing to take anyone in the city wherever they pleased. He has a GPS so he could get you anywhere you needed to go. Complimentary gifts on him. I'd be there at the beginning but go home early because I would be to tired to continue after hour-1. But Ricky would invite his roommates to insure a head-banging good time. Matt, acting as the fatherly figure, would make sure all is well but everybody is safe.

5. Jake Peavy
I don't know if anybody on this site thinks signing Jake Peavy is actually a good idea. But signing him would end some of this stupid "hot stove" talk that is now just becoming a joke. I have said this before, starting pitching is really the least of their worries.

4. Something to compliment Derrick Rose

The Derrick Rose pick is looking better and better far quicker than anybody assumed. Who would have thought that Mike Beasley would have crapped out already? But needless to say, Rose has nobody else on this team. Gordon has a tenancy to look like a solid number two. But he has just as good of chances of heaving one up for no reason too. Deng=worthless. You know there are problems when Aaron Gray is starting. How about instead of acting like everybody else trying to take a stab at the 2010 season, grab one of these second-tier guys that somebody all of a sudden nobody wants? Though a D-Wade/D-Rose backcourt would be sick, and not as unlikely as some may think.

3. A quarterback
Yes, Orton has served as a serviceable quarterback this season. But the idea of giving him a huge contract is ludicrous. It doesn't make sense that they wanted to make Devin Hester an explosive receiver, (who has lost any ability to return kicks) when they have a QB who underthrows him on fly patterns worse than Chad Pennington. He is good from about 12-yards and in, but from then anything else is an adventure. To put this into even better perspective he threw the ball 40 times on Thursday. 40! Pass-first offenses don't throw the ball that much. He passed for a crummy 172 yards against the 26th ranked defense vs. the pass. McNabb, among others will most likely be available in 2009. It is time to start looking elsewhere.

2. More Winter Classic Tickets

The way they did the tickets makes entire sense, and I really can't disagree with it, especially considering it was handled like a playoff game. But from a Chicago fan's point of view, Hawks season ticket fans splitting a large portion of the seats with Detroit fans? That's ridiculous. While I love the nostalgia of Wrigley Field, from a financial standpoint, didn't Soldier Field make a little more sense? This game will be entertaining and if anybody has tickets they are willing to sell at a reasonable price, email us. Please.

How cool would it be if they played on this rink instead of Wrigley?

1. 2016 Olympics
This would be an early gift as the Olympic committee won't unveil the winner until the Summer. But what better way to boost spirits not only of the US, but Chicago by Pat Ryan, head of the Chicago 2016 committee reeling in the games. Automatic renovations would be made all over the area and this privately funded wish would turn to reality.


Ricky O'Donnell said...

You've really outdone yourself this time, Barnes.

Anonymous said...

We'll be keeping Santa very busy.

Anonymous said...

Gift number 3, obtaining McNabb,would not only be a gift to the fans, it probably would be a gift to him to close out his career in his home town.

The Zoner said...

Good stuff. But while McNabb has always been a tantalizing prospect, without any stud receivers I fear that it would be much of the same.