Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Top Ten things overheard in the Bulls locker room


I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be inside the Bulls locker room, especially after a loss like yesterday’s heartbreaker to the Knicks. Were the players more upset about Quentin Richardson scoring 24 points and Chris Duhon scoring the go-ahead basket, or were they more concerned about finding the best NY pizza joint for lunch? My guess would be the latter.

Face it, other than Derrick Rose, this is a team of individuals that either forgot how they won 49 games in 06-07’ (playing defense), don’t care about winning anymore (new contracts might have something to do with that), or a combination of both. If I ever did get access to the locker room, here are 10 things that I bet I would hear.

10. Kirk Hinrich
“Remember two years ago when I was the most important player on the Bulls and also made the NBA-All Defensive Second Team?”
9. Larry Hughes
“Forget Stephon Marbury. I’m the real missing piece if the Celtics want to win another championship.” 8. Andres Nocioni
“I wonder how long it will be until they realize I don’t really play good defense, I can’t make threes, and all my antics are really just for show and not a sign that I care about winning?”
7. John Paxson
“Can I go back to the night of June 28, 2006 and have a do-over?” 6. Tyrus Thomas
“Damn, I could be a senior in college now. Then basketball might still be fun.”
5. Luol Deng
“Haha, what a bunch of suckers.” 4. Vinny Del Negro
“At least I’m doing a better job than Jim Boylan. Right? If these guys would just listen to me we could be great. I mean, my background speaks for itself.”
3. Ben Gordon
“More shots= more points = more money = more happy. Plus, who do you want shooting instead?” 2. Joakim Noah
“Me and my Florida boys would have owned this city.”
1. Derrick Rose
“These guys suck. Losing sucks. I better start trying to make close friends with Dwyane Wade. I’ll try and sell him on the fact he could go to a lot of Richards high school basketball games if he came to Chicago.”


Anonymous said...

Take Rose, Brian Urlacher, the entire assortment of losers that are the White Sox/Cubs (both teams, there is no favoritism here) and trade them for a bag full of flaming feces on the front porch of da mayors house. Sure, these teams are worth a lot more than a bag of lit shit, but the total worth of entertainment value is almost equal. The bag of poop has a slight edges though.

Anonymous said...

you say that these players have forgotten the way to win the amount of games that they did in 06-07. these players weren't really the team that played in chicago in 06-07. they've collected drew gooden, aaron gray, larry hughes, lindsey hunter, joakim noah, derrick rose, michael ruffin and cedric simmons. And let go ben wallace, chris duhon, p.j. brown , malik allen, adrian griffin, andre barrett, mike sweetney and viktor khryapa. Of course they aren't going to play like 06-07.

Brian said...

Good list man, very funny, and for the most part couldn't agree more. My favorite was the one on Larry Hughes

Phil Barnes said...

nice post very clever

Danny Sheridan said...

To the second anonymous person:
The core of the team (Hinrich, Gordon, Deng, Nocioni, Tyrus) is the same as 06-07'. Although you make a good point, Ben Wallace, Chris Duhon and P.J. Brown were a big reason why the Bulls were so good defensively that year. (although did u really need to include guys like Allen, Griffin, Barrett, Sweetney and Khryapa?)

Anonymous said...

those guys, Allen, Griffin, Barrett, Sweetney and Khryapa may not have been significant players as far as scoring, boards, assists blah, blah blah, but surely their team support assisted with the wins. unless ttcs doesn't believe in team moral and supporting team members, i would certainly include these guys.

Phil Barnes said...

Buddy, If you honestly feel those guys truly contributed, I don't think you watch sports. Those guys averaged a COMBINED 13.2 points per. Khryapa is/was/ maybe forever will be the worst basketball player to ever put on an NBA uniform. Viktor and Barrett didn't even make the playoff team. I am curious as to how their team support assisted to wins. Mike Sweetney ate a lot, maybe he served the guys pre-game meals.

The Zoner said...

How can you say Khryapa was the worst NBA player ever when we had both Kornhole David and Dalibor Bagaric?